Deadlines.

Psst.

Hey. Hey, you. Yes, you! C’mere for a minute. I see the troubled look on your face. Ahh, you have a deadline you haven’t caught up to yet, haven’t you? Yes, I know the feeling. All those who wander through life face this at one time or the other. But only one who dominates this Herculean challenge is worthy of being a truly amazing person.

Now, you might be wondering why I’m being so hyperbolic. Almost like I’m one of those old men who tell you the lore of a fantasy video game when you first load in. What’s it to you? Maybe acting like the 1000-year old wizard who ends up being the final boss is my coping mechanism, lay off me! Drat, I spoiled the ending for you… anyway, we’re getting off track, where were we? Ah, yes, that deadline of yours. If you so desire, I can aid you, you know. I’ve been through the same predicament, after all. Now listen closely…

First, you must exit your room. That is, of course, where all good things start. And some bad things too. But let’s focus on the good things now; You brush your teeth, take a bath, all the usual things, because hygiene is important. Here’s where it gets really hard though. You must venture to a land beyond time, beyond gods, where there is information galore, but also full of treachery and tragedy. Oh, and how tragic it is! Anyway. You must venture into one of the halls, adorned lavishly and decked with books. You will find many peers, fellow travellers, and warriors, preparing for their next conquest, or simply taking a break before the horrors strike again. They all repeat the same mysterious words, almost like a hive mind… “ta kel ite”. Is it some incantation? Perhaps it is some prayer to a deity of theirs…

You must peruse the knowledge hidden in the texts, and come out a changed person. But the knowledge stored away in bits of paper will not be enough, no. You must prepare yourself. Your journey is a perilous one, and not all those who embark come back. So prepare yourself thoroughly. I’ve seen people armed to the teeth and still come out with eyes emptier than the abyss they delved into. Anyway, after that, you must have a good meal, and proper sleep to go with it. Hunger and fatigue can be the undoing of even the most mightiest of foes. No hero is ready without proper equipment, of course. You must equip yourself with armour and a weapon. Will it be a simple notebook? With a pen mightier than the sword? Or will it be your trusted laptop, a bulky but powerful machine? Perhaps your weapon of choice is your smartphone, holding vast amounts of power in your palm? Whatever. Select a tool.

Now you have everything you need. But keep in mind your journey has just begun. There are far worse things yet to come, of course. The hardest part is setting out, of course. Just leaving otherworldly pleasures behind is too daunting of a task for many. And your quest will not be easy by any means whatsoever. There will be those that pray to the heavens, wishing your downfall. There will be things worse than sirens, luring you away from what you try to accomplish. But you have a responsibility, don’t you? You must stay unmoved. Relentless. Dauntless. For you are armed with the greatest gift of all! The key to facing a deadline! Now to tell you. The key to facing a deadline is… to just do it.

My dear reader, you must be wondering if the entire point of this monologue was just to drop the Nike motto at the end. Perhaps I’m advertising them? Maybe I’m being paid money to do this? Yeah, no. Not really. I was just pulling your leg. There is no surefire method to finishing things before a deadline. I’m sorry for wasting your time, I meant it as a harmless prank. In my defence, you really should have realised I was trolling you when I said “ta kel ite”. It’s just “take lite”. But y’know? The part about just doing it? That wasn’t a joke. That’s quite literally all there is to it. Honest.

Well, I suspect you have a deadline. And work you should get back to. A lot of it. But the hardest part is getting started. You’ll be on your merry way once you do that. Speaking of which, I have a deadline of my own. In… checks watch… two hours. Yikes. That’s not good. I really should get going. Well, I know it’ll work out. I’ll be fine. And, dear reader, so will you.